The Institute

Tag: Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies

WHEN I COUNT TO TEN AND SNAP MY FINGERS YOU WILL AWAKE REFRESHED AND BELIEVE, WITHOUT A DOUBT, THAT VEGAN CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES AREN’T JUST FOR SISSIES

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I admit, just up until a couple of days ago, if some guy told me he liked vegan chocolate chip cookies I’d have been thoroughly disgusted with him and even wondered (were certain circumstances to arise) if he (the self confessed vegan cookie lover, that is) would be worth killing. Now, (thanks to the intervention of come kind and compassionate individuals) I have come to my senses and would never, ever, allow myself to have such thoughts. Oh, no, I’m not like that anymore. I swear.

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Vegan chocolate chip cookies prepared by The President and Founder for a person we will call ‘The Best Ever’

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I CALL THIS ONE ‘HIDING FROM THE JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES’

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This work was inspired by an actual event.

Earlier today, while minding my own business, I heard the unmistakable sound of a car coming up the gravel drive. Not ever expecting any visitors I popped up from my most comfortable seat upon the famed purple couch and immediately spotted what I could see were two of Jehovah’s witnesses* in a late model Toyota intent on disrupting the solitude of my Saturday. Needless to say, without a moment to lose, I dashed out of the front room, through the kitchen (where only the night before I baked nearly 2 dozen of the most scrumptious vegan chocolate chip cookies), around the corner, up the stairs (without holding the hand rail), and into the room (sadly now all but empty) of my assistant who some time ago fled to the other side of the continent. What you see above is a representation of what I looked at for the several terrifying minutes those Witnesses spent pounding upon my front door.

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*Some will ask, “But, how did you know they were Jehovah’s Witnesses?”, to which I would answer, “Oh, you can tell, believe me, you can just tell”.

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