I CALL THIS ONE ‘HIDING FROM THE JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES’

by The Institute for the Study of Slightly Varying Circumstances

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This work was inspired by an actual event.

Earlier today, while minding my own business, I heard the unmistakable sound of a car coming up the gravel drive. Not ever expecting any visitors I popped up from my most comfortable seat upon the famed purple couch and immediately spotted what I could see were two of Jehovah’s witnesses* in a late model Toyota intent on disrupting the solitude of my Saturday. Needless to say, without a moment to lose, I dashed out of the front room, through the kitchen (where only the night before I baked nearly 2 dozen of the most scrumptious vegan chocolate chip cookies), around the corner, up the stairs (without holding the hand rail), and into the room (sadly now all but empty) of my assistant who some time ago fled to the other side of the continent. What you see above is a representation of what I looked at for the several terrifying minutes those Witnesses spent pounding upon my front door.

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*Some will ask, “But, how did you know they were Jehovah’s Witnesses?”, to which I would answer, “Oh, you can tell, believe me, you can just tell”.

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